Along in the Sun and the Rain

*originally posted to Facebook 8/2/16

Thinking about Melly and enjoying this beautiful storm. The summer rains always held a special place in our hearts. They always made us feel a little closer together. Something about being sheltered from the rain, cool winds, and tremendous lighting displays. I can't help but feel closer to her this afternoon enjoying some much needed storms on our back porch.

To my friends in cold climates, I wonder if you feel about winter the way I have begun to feel about summers here. You get cooped up, cabin fever. A summer monsoon feels like a sunny day in February. It's a break from the monotony, a chance to feel and be in nature.

*originally posted to Facebook 8/1/16

Tough Life

Yer Blues

*originally posted to Facebook on 7/31/16

I feel like I've hit a plateau. The first few weeks each day was difficult, but at least was better than the last. The trajectory was solid upward. This past week though... Just one tough day after another.

Becoming a widower at 36 (first time I've said that...) has left me at odds with my peer group. There is nothing wrong with that per se. I love all of my friends and their families. The problem is that I'm on an island. If I was older, where this is a little more expected, it would be more relatable. I'm now in a place where everyone I know is married, has kids, or is getting ready too. It feels like someone forced the clock ahead on my life. If feel like I'm 70, not 36. It's hard to reconcile.

I understand that it's not always going to be upward, just as it may be downward. Plateaus are good, plateaus are flat, they are status quo. I can live with that for now.

About the picture - Melissa and I traveled to Fredericksburg, TX for my sister's wedding in early June. It was the last big road trip we made together, and did it over two days of driving through southern Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. Along the way we stopped at Carlsbad Caverns and watch 400,000 bats fly out at dusk. That is a story for another time. This particular picture was an unplanned stop. We were near White Sands missile base, where I saw a sign advertising their museum. Melissa, being a good sport, indulged me and let me go. As you can tell from the picture, she was super excited to be there. Melissa Milloy, destroyer of worlds

15 Years

*originally posted to Facebook on 7/27/16

Short post today, because I'm tired and there isn't a whole lot I can add to this that hasn't already been said. 15 years ago today Melissa and I 'officially' started dating. It's an incredibly bittersweet day, I am so happy for these past 15 years but I am so sad that she isn't here with me telling stories and enjoying our favorite mexican food.

My calendar is going to be full of little time bombs like this. As I've said before, the first ones are always the hardest. I will get through, but I think I might go to bed early tonight first. 

*originally posted to Facebook on 7/26/16

This is a smiling dog. That is all.