I've spent the better part of the past two weeks avoiding the facts of this past year. I'm not hiding, I'm just choosing not to acknowledge things as publicly as I was through most of last fall. In some ways its been easier to be a little more introspective, less overt with my thoughts and feelings. In other ways I wish I had taken the time to document more. This has been an extremely transformative time. The person I was on July 3rd, 2016 is not the person I am today. That person was excited about the future, about becoming a father, about buying a new car, about having a couple of days off work so that I could take a few days to catch up on work.
The person I am today has difficulty at times imaging the future. I don't like driving that new car because it reminds me of too many hard days. I take time off work to specifically not work. I'd like to think that my empathy has increased because it is impossible to know what a person is going through. Unless you ask them. Unless you take the time to be a friend, known or unknown, and to ask the simple question: "How are you doing?".
I am writing this from the airport in Chicago, on my way to Boston and New Hampshire to spend the week with Melissa's family. I don't know yet if I will write again on the 5th, or this week. It all depends on how things feel, and if writing feels right in those moments. Because of that it is important that I get this out there. It is important to me that you all know how much you all mean to me, and how much I appreciate everyone's friendship these past months. I honestly could not have made it through this year without all of you, and so for that, a deep and heartfelt thank you.
I will be back in Phoenix next weekend, and back to the east coast at the end of July. For those of you in between, we will find sometime to catch up. Looking forward to seeing each of you again to toast to Melly, to life, and to continued years of friendship together.